The End of the Long Goodnight Kiss

Captain Cosmic on the subject of the goodnight kiss……

According to research published this week by hotel chain Travelodge, 80% of couples no longer kiss each other good night at bedtime. This seems to be a startling revelation and here at Superhero HQ it got us thinking about the relationship challenges that face the Superheroes that we know and love.

Superman (and his alter ego Clark Kent) often stretches Lois Lane’s love for him to the edge of reason – for example, in the television series Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, poor Lois was often dragged into situations where she was placed in jeopardy as a damsel in distress; being kidnapped or even bound and gagged by the villains her hubby was dealing with at work.

It may not be quite the same as bringing home baggage after a day of difficult meetings, but who wouldn’t forgive Lois for harbouring a tiny bit of antipathy and perhaps not always feel like giving Clark a peck on the cheek when turning in at bedtime. I imagine the conversation might go something like this:

CK: [yawns and stretches, then puckers up for the love of his life] Goodnight dear…

LL: [turns onto side and pulls duvet over] Yes…goodnight

CK: Err…Lois….is everything ok?

LL: Fine! [a sigh and a very long pause] Well, since you ask. I really do wish your work wouldn’t interfere so much with things at home. You’re so preoccupied with it all; you’re always complaining about what the Villains are doing to the City.

CK: Uh huh. Your still feeling a little sore about The Joker chaining you to that bomb today aren’t you?

LL: Well it was no joke! You know I’ll always support you with your career Clark, but yeah, to be honest today was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was only last week that Lex Luthor filled my car with venomous snakes. I mean, it just gets a bit tiring, y’know.

CK: [turns over, switches off the bedside lamp, harrumphs] Sweet dreams!

It’s probably true to say that in the course of our day-to-day work lives as Business Superheroes it’s most unlikely that our partners will be affected by what we do as much as poor Lois Lane. But, it’s also true to say that the work we do, and how much we enjoy it, plays a very big part in the health of both our work and home relationships.

At times, we can all find ourselves working around the clock to meet deadlines, struggling to balance ever competing priorities and generally fighting the tide of a mushrooming workload, all of which have the potential to drown our creativity, zap our energy and possibly make us a bit of a challenge to work or live with!

Try these 3 tactics to increase your chances of a goodnight kiss……

Be ‘Super’ clear about your priorities

Work can be full of distractions; you may welcome some and run in terror from others. Whichever is the case for you, being ‘super’ clear about your priorities can help you to focus on the things that matter the most and minimise the disruptive effects of the distractions around you.

Superhero Wisdom: Make your priorities VISUAL & VISIBLE, if you can see them you are less likely to forget about them. Use words AND pictures to make the priorities vivid and compelling. You won’t want to take your eyes off them, other than to actually work on delivering them. You could even write them on something unusual, on a balloon, on a biscuit using icing or even on a pair of Y-fronts!

Get your workplace relationships really working

If something isn’t working it’s time to find some common ground and build from there. As well as developing self-awareness, building a better understanding of what makes your colleagues tick can really help to ease the pinch-points in your work relationships.

Superhero Wisdom: Explore your VALUES as a team or establish a TEAM CODE that spells out how you’ll work together to be really effective, and provides you with something to keep you everyone track. Be sure to talk about the ‘Elephant in the Room’ too. It’s essential that you have the difficult conversations but in a way that is respectful and supportive. Bring too ‘nice’ is over-rated!

Look at what you’ve got through fresh eyes

It’s easy to become bogged down in work and with that we often miss the opportunities to enjoy it and then we start to undervalue it.  When we look at our work from a different perspective, with a fresh set of eyes we can often see something that we’d previously overlooked.

Superhero Wisdom: Just as the Movie Making Episode of the Pants on the Outside trilogy gets participants to look at their work through the eyes of a Superhero, you can try it out for yourself…without a cape!

What would you notice and appreciate about your work if you looked at it from the perspective of an Astronaut on a mission to Mars or the Conductor on your commuter train each day, or even a 6 year old. Perhaps you’ll see something you haven’t noticed before and it will give you some fresh insight and a burst of energy too?

Whilst these tactics might not change your life, until you try you won’t know. And as far as the end of the goodnight kiss is concerned, here at Superhero HQ we say – long live the affectionate peck!

Captain Cosmic AKA Paul Blackett heads up the Movie Making Episode of Pants On The Outside and when he’s not doing that he’s making inspiring corporate videos for clients around the world.

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